They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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