she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
What drink are we having for lunch?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
