Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
