just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
