No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
