there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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