Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
