They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
