k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
do herpes really smell.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
