I could make wine with my vomit
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
