There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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