I like my sex mixed with concussions.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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