well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
