You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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