just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
God, I missed his penis.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
