The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
