How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
