Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
