He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
