im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I have fence marks all over my body
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
