You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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