Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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