I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
