defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize