In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
