I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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