I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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