Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
