why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
