So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize