On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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