it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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