Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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