I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
