Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
