yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
it hurts more in the daytime
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
