she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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