So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
