update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
