haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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