woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
