Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
