She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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