i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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