Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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