just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
