He asked me if I "almost moaned"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Randomize
