it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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