Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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