i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize