Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
