are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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