I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
