why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
