Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
