I think I just saw someone hide a body.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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