Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Swine flu is the new snow day.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
