Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
3pm strippers are depressing
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
