Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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