wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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