Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
