oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
high people should be assigned attendants
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
