She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
