Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
