New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
