It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
