what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
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