How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
