Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
