Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
